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for misterdoctorstrange

The people who had disappeared didn't leave behind any ghosts. And then the spirits from before became less and less because, well, the local death rate slowed when there were fewer people to die. Besides, Harper was pretty sure that most people were happy to leave their current existence behind with things the way they were. For Harper, it was as if someone had pressed a mute button on her life. Her hectic, upside down world was suddenly empty. Ironically enough, if was bereft of the life it once had.

That had been hard.

Losing Stephen Strange had been harder.

She'd waiting for weeks inside the Sanctum, but he never returned.

For five years Harper closed herself off from the world more than ever. She cute herself off from the few people she knew who still existed. She went to work, performed her perfunctory duties, and went home. She didn't even bother with late nights in clubs and one night stands like she might have once upon a time. Losing Strange was one loss too many for a girl who had been abandoned her whole life.

In the end, it was the cats outside, in the ally behind the store. She heard the clatter of a trash can, and upon inspection found a whole pack of them digging for food in the bin. Before, maybe she'd see one stalking along the streets, but never so many at once. Not since...

Harper's hands trembled, and her heart raced as she ran to the front of the store. The streets were filled with confused people with wide eyes. People who hadn't been there in five years.

She'd finished her shift, gone home and buried herself in bed. As the hours ticked by she could hear the celebrations all around, but she wanted none of it. She couldn't dare to let herself celebrate - to hope. She couldn't do it anymore.

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I will, I promise. I'm sorry this time it took so long.

[Because it had been the only way to save himself, to save all of them, to get him back to her. It had been worth it to Strange but he knew that he wasn't the one that had to live with the loss. His route was relatively easy compared to Harper and the rest of the survivors.

Strange felt relatively certain though that if they could make it through this then they could make it through most everything. Not that he really wanted to put that to the test, especially not at the moment.]

And it's almost annoying that you don't look even a year old. Not that I'm complaining.

[ A shuddered breath that really should have been some sort of laugh, came out of Harper. She shoved him with her shoulder, then peeked up at his face again. ]

You're one to talk.

[ She reached out with one hand and cupped the side of his face in her palm. His facial hair scratched gently, just like it used to. Everything about him looked the same, save for some cuts and bruises. She strokes her thumb along his cheekbone. ]

I'm 34 now, you know. I hope the bigger age gap wasn't the only thing keeping you interested.

[Strange leaned into the touch, finding a sort of comfort there that not even saving the galaxy could afford him. Harper centered him unlike anyone else and made him feel complete in a way that nothing else could. For as much as she had fallen apart without him he thought he might be even worse without her.]

Let's be honest, we both know it was your ass that I stuck around for.

[Turning his head he kissed the palm of her hand while reaching up to run his fingers through her hair.]

That and the fact that I love you.

[ The tentative laugh that almost bubbled out of Harper was cut short by Strange's open and honest statement. Neither of them had said it before, and Harper's instinct was to run from them. The L-word had always been a cue to run before. Love meant attachments and attachments meant that she could get hurt. They'd never said it before, and yet she'd gotten hurt anyway. Hurt, and yet somehow, in just those few moments since Strange arrived at her door, she was already feeling the broken parts of her knit back together. How could she have been so empty for five years and not love him?

God, it was all still so painful and messy, but it was undeniable. Her stupid, breakable heart loved him.

Eyes still watery and red, she looked at him with a kind of wonder she usually tried to keep from her face. It didn't exactly suit her tough demeanor, but then again, nothing about this day did. She wanted to tell him, to say how all the pain she felt was just her warped, broken way of loving him, but the part of her that always hesitated with these things needed to hear it again. She needed to know that he meant it. ]

You love me?

[Strange hadn't even really thought about the implications of what he'd said, not fully. It wasn't as if the word had just leaped out either, he knew what he meant when he was saying it. It was the only word that could come close to conveying what he was feeling. And he wanted her to know, wanted her to really understand why he would work so hard to always come back to her and do everything he could.

Because he loved her. He loved this complicated, amazing, difficult, beautiful woman in a way that he didn't even entirely understand. And maybe it was too early to tell her that or maybe it would scare her off- though if his absence hadn't scared her off then he doubted this will.]

I do. I love you so much. And not just because you're the only one that seems to even want to put up with me.

[ She laughed, which just caused more tears to drop from her eyes. She can't be bothered with them though. This was probably the messiest, most emotional she has ever been, short of being an infant, and she doesn't give a shit. Because the of all the impossible things that have happened in her life, this man, holding her like she might slip away at any second, loved her. He was stubborn and had a temper to match hers. He was broken and angry. He was brave, and caring, and knew her inside and out.

And he loved her.

She brought both hands to his face now, her touch feather light. ]

I love you, too. [ The words were true as anything. She meant them with her whole being. They sounded rusty, and felt strange on her lips. She couldn't remember the last time she told someone she loved them. She couldn't remember the last time she felt love. ]

So, so much, Stephen. And you know I wouldn't just say that without meaning it.

I know that you wouldn't.

[He smiled and leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead. He could feel the warmth of her hands on his face and he the tenderness in the touch. To be honest he was surprised that she loved him back. Despite taking him back when she'd been so hurt by him. Strange knew that he couldn't be easy to love. Hell, he was fairly sure that he wasn't even easy to like but Harper did. Harper did with all her heart and soul.]

I'm lucky that I managed to find the one person who can love me despite... me being myself.

[ At that, Harper flattened her hands and pressed them against Strange's cheeks, squishing his face together, cuts and bruises be damned. She frowned, but it didn't last long, morphing into a smile filled with affection. ]

Don't be stupid. I love you because you're yourself.

[ There wasn't a thing that Harper would change about Strange. Even the things that made him sacrifice himself for the greater good. She doesn't think she will ever quite get over losing him, but she wouldn't have wanted him to make any other choice than the one he had. And for all his flaws, Harper knew she wasn't perfect, either. In a way, his stubbornness and pride reflected her own, and that brought a strange comfort to Harper. She felt safe being herself with him, whether it was the sharp, thorny version of herself she projected to the world or the vulnerable side that only he got to see.

She loosens her hold on his face but brings him closer to hers so that she can kiss him. It's soft and sweet, almost like a promise. ]

I love all of you, so don't you change a damned thing. Got it?

Well, if that's an order then I guess I don't have much of a choice.

[And of course her words only made him love her more. There were no illusions between the two that they were perfect, far from it, but it was clear that neither them wanted or would be happy with a conventional partner. The fact that she loved him despite and in some places because of all his faults? How could he not love her more because of that.]

Seriously though if you could stop squishing my face that like it's still rather sore.

[ Harper winced a bit in sympathy as she eases her hands away. Concern clouded her vision as she leaned back just enough to scan Strange over. ]

Is there anything worse? Should you be in a hospital now or something?

[ While she knew the basics of what happened thanks to the Avenger's report to the world, there was still so much that she didn't know. She didn't know what he had gone through both before and after the snap. ]

Can you tell me about it? About everything that happened?

Well, I got my ass kicked from one end of the galaxy to the other. I was tortured in between but I did have the pleasure of seeing the person who killed me die twice.

[Which probably didn't make a lot of sense but a lot of what happened didn't make much sense in general. What had happened to them all was crazy even in the aftermath it was a mess.]

I feel a little worse for wear but I need to be here with you, not at a hospital.

[ The way she said it all so casually nearly breaks her heart all over again. It reminded her too much of herself, of how good she'd gotten at writing her own pain off over the years. Granted, she had never fought some space megalomaniac and been outright tortured, but the core of pain still remained the same. They really were too much alike in some places. ]

Come on.

[ Her voice was soft as she slid her hands down his arms and holds his hand in hers. She turns and leads him towards the bed she had just been buried in not too long ago. It was still a rumpled mess from her break down, but she didn't care. Maybe he didn't need a hospital, but she was sure that he needed rest. ]

Let's just lie down for a while.

[Strange wordlessly followed after Harper, feeling comforted just to have his hand in hers. It had only been a few days since that had happened last for him but with all that happened in between it might as well have been five years. Her rumpled bed felt incredibly comfortable as he collapsed into it as his arms moved around her.]

Sorry, I suddenly made this all about me, didn't I?

[ She snorted a laugh as she settled in against Strange. She wrapped her arms around him as well, keeping him as close as possible. The scent of him, like a nostalgic memory surrounded her and mingled into the familiar smells of her home. Because despite five long years, he was still her home too. ]

As if I don't want to lay here wrapped up in you?

[ They had five years of snuggling to make up for, after all. She sighed, feeling at least a little content for the first time in a very long time. Her voice was a but muffled as she had all but buried her face into his shoulder. ]

God, I missed you so much. It's stupid, but it felt like a part of me was missing all that time.

[Strange wrapped his arms around her as well, keeping her head rested on his chest. It hadn’t been five years but so much had happened since then he needed the comforts of Harper. Of his center.]

So many times I wished I could see you just once more. To tell you I loved you and to let you center me. I hope you feel more complete now because I’m not going more than five feet from you for a long time.

[ Harper squeezed, gently, of course, her hold on Strange. It mirrored the own squeezing of her heart as she listened to him, as she felt him live and breath right there beside her. How many nights had she dreamt of this? How many times had she woken up only to be disappointed and heartbroken? But now he really was there, he was in her bed and she was not letting go any time soon. ]

I don't know, you might get sick of me.

[ It was a reflex to joke. Not just to joke, but the mask her real fears up in that joke. Five years alone had done nothing to heal her fear of abandonment. It was a testament to how much she cared about Strange that she could be this happy and welcome him into her home even though she still feared his departure. ]

Let's be honest if we're going to get sick of each other you're going to get tired of me, not the other way around.

[He kissed the top of her head, her temple, and her lips to reassure her that he wasn't going anywhere. This wasn't something he was just trying out, it wasn't a fling. This was real and lasting and the sort of thing that he was going to fight tooth and nail to keep.]

And if you don't get tired of me I suppose that just means we're stuck with each other.

[ Harper relished each tender kiss as she closed her eyes. Though they had been intimate countless times before the snap this felt new. She had been in denial about her feelings before, and worse yet she had doubted his because of her own insecurities. And though some of those doubts lingered, she was strong enough to hope for something better. So she let herself get swept up in the moment, in his love.

A sardonic smile curled on her lips when she opened her eyes again. She walked the fingers of one hand up his chest, to his chin where she directs him to look her in the eye. ]

We can argue about which of us is the most unlovable all day, but that kind of seems like a waste of time now that we've both agreed to stick around.

Alright. I guess we'll just have to resign ourselves that we're stuck with the other's love.

[Which he was fine with. More than fine with actually. And just to prove that he leaned in and kissed her lips, slow and tender and with all the love that he wasn't sure he could properly put into words or actions. But he could do his best, his very best to try and show her what it is he felt for her.]

[ Oh, how she'd missed this. His lips on hers were still so familiar because of how many nights she had dreamed about them. And yet, the kiss was different and new at the same time. Before there had been unsaid feelings. Harper thought that maybe they had both been a bit in denial about how much they cared for each other before, but events had changed all that. Now there were words of love, words that despite herself, Harper had let herself say. And now she felt that love in Strange's kiss. It struck her that she hadn't felt this happy in a long, long time.

She had to hope that it's a happiness she can hold on to.

Harper returned the kiss, hoping that her own feelings were conveyed like his were. She brought her hands to his face again, just wanting to touch him however she could. When she pulled her lips back there are tears in her eyes again - happy this time though. She lets out a watery laugh. ]

I swear. I have never cried this much in my entire life. I expect you to take responsibility for that.

That's revenge for all the ways you have me twisting after wrapping me around your finger.

[Not that he was doing this on purpose or would wish for this but it seemed a nice way to break the serious moment. Smiling at her he reached out to wipe away her tears with his thumbs. There was no need for her to cry right now, not now that they were together again and had each other.]

[ Harper's heart fluttered as Strange's hands held her and wiped away her tears. They slowed after a moment. She took a centering breath and rested her hands over his. She felt the familiar scars there and the slight tremor there. She'd missed every bit of him, even the so-called flaws.

She turned her face and kissed the inside of his right palm, and then turned back to smile. ]

I hope you don't expect me to be this emotional all the time now. This is...well, clearly it's a special circumstance.

Are you sure? Because the crying, overly emotional Harper is what I signed up for all along. I was just playing the long game.

[Smiling at her he leaned in and kissed her softly. He didn't need to see her crying to know that underneath all her walls was a tender heart that was afraid. He knew that because he'd been there himself.]

I'm honored that you let me in this much to see that.

[ Harper sank into the sweetness of the kiss. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so comforted, so seen, and still so wanted. She sighed contentedly and returned the kiss with one of her own. She wanted him to feel just as good as she did at that moment. ]

Just don't go telling anyone. I have a reputation to keep. [ She stole another kiss. ] Only you get to see this part of me.

Oh of course not. I'm entirely too selfish to share this side of you with anyone else.

[Just to reassure her he kissed her again, long and deep to reassure her that he wanted all of her. Every part of her was what he was in love with, he was committed to the full Harper experience.]

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